This Compliment Sweatshirt triggers much needed compliments several times a day.
People just aren’t as complimentary as they used to be. I actually hallucinated a compliment the other day. I thought the guy said “ you look lovely” to which I said “oh, thank you” as I sucked in my belly. He looked at me and said “I said Are you hungry?”. I guess I was hungry for some affirmations.
The best is the Quantifying Complimenter. The other day someone said to me “Oh Kendra, you know you have a very pretty face” (I might have made up the “very” part). I didn’t like the sounds of that, I’ll be honest. She might as well have said “Kendra, I’d like to compliment you from the bottom of your chin to the top of your head. That’s it! What I’m about to say is limited to that area and that area only. Anything from the chin down, not getting the compliment, capiche? Tell your boobs and butt and whatever else you got going on, not included.” If I saw her on the street, not getting the hug. You see how I operate.
I’m starting the Mutual Admiration Society 2022 Edition. It’s gonna be my new social circle. We sit around and stroke each other’s egos. Most meetings start with me saying “OK, you go first. What do you like about me? Maybe we should spend the whole meeting on this just so I’m clear. Did I hear a “Your pretty”? You should always start with that. Can someone pass me that velvet throw? I’m chilly. Not enough fat on these bones. Right people?”
